Barney: I love you, you love me?

Barney the Macaw

A macaw with a remarkably coherent line in invective has been given a private pen at a wildlife sanctuary, after swearing repeatedly at distinguished visitors including a mayor, a vicar and two police officers.
Barney is a five-year-old Macaw, who can now only be seen on special request, like the British Library's collection of erotic books, in case he lets loose on potential donors or visiting children.
Trained by a previous owner (who had a dislike of authority), Barney first appeared to be a hit at the Warwickshire Animal Sanctuary, Nuneaton, due to his vivid blue and gold plumage and cute habit of saying "Thank you, Big Boy," when given a digestive biscuit treat.
But when Barney spotted a visiting mayor's chain of office and the vicar's dog collar on the the woman accompanying him, the mood changed abruptly.
Instead of a church blessing (Oh all ye fowls of the air, bless ye the Lord), Barney told the mayor: "Fuck off," before turning to the lady vicar and saying: "You can fuck off too."
The sanctuary's owner, Geoff Grewcock, said: "To their credit they didn't take offence and laughed it off - and luckily so did two policemen who were told: "And you can fuck off, you wankers."

More online at The Guardian's website

It appears Barney's also keen to give TEFL lessons to his buddies, two African Greys...

Geoff Grewcock, owner of the Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary in the UK said it sounds like a builder's yard, all that abuse flying around.
Barney has duly passed on his purple phrases to two African Greys – Sam and Charlie, both five years old, with whom he shares a cage in Grewcock's living room.
Grewcock says: "They just sit there swearing at each other now. I wouldn't mind, but we had been careful of what we said in front of the other birds so they didn't go like Barney. I didn't think they would pick it up from him. We have another African Grey called Sunny who squawks 'Shut up' at them when the swearing starts - but they don't take any notice."

More online at funnystuff.net