Wednesday, August 06, 2008

[ swampmuzak ] has moved!

Yes, after much debate

this blog has moved house to

swampmuzak.wordpress.com

Don't ask ...
it's a housekeeping thang

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

H&K 1 - Hijacker 0

As News24 reports on a Johannesburg story:

"It was him or me", said Alexi Kyriacou on the East Rand on Tuesday (29 July) after he almost shot off a hijacker's arm.
At about 15h00, four suspected hijackers tried to hijack a truck that was delivering mageu (an energy booster) to the Kyriacou family business, the Cosmos Café.
Alexi, a manager at the café in Third Street in Vorsterskroon, and his father Chris, 61, took on the hijackers.
The station commander in Nigel, Superintendent Yogita Kasaven said that Alexi nearly shot off a hijacker's right arm with a 40-calibre Heckler & Kock [sic] pistol.
A police officer said the man's arm was hanging by a small piece of flesh.
"The man was taken to the Heidelberg Hospital for treatment and is under arrest."

Comment: South Africa, what an awesome country – never a dull moment.
I also note with some humour how we in gun-loving/gun-fearing SA have reached the point where one of Germany's finest brand names H&K aka
Heckler & Koch has been bastardised into Heckler & Kock.
Adds a spin to the well-known Southern Baptist reply to an ugly comment: "Suck my Glock" which can so easily be updated to: "Suck my Heckler & Kock"

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The good news about SA?

According to a blog on SA's The Times website, the tide is turning ...

the small picture
1. The petrol price seems to have arrived at some sort of ceiling and may even start falling

2. The Boks beat the All Blacks at the House of Pain (Dunedin, NZ) for the first time ever

THE BIG PICTURE
1. Even eight months after Polokwane's NC conference, the sky has not fallen on our heads .President Thabo Mbeki and Finance Minister, Trevor Manuel, appear confident South Africa will hold its economic policy line. The voices of the left are sounding increasingly shrill. Silly rantings about the zero-rating of foods that are already zero-rated and calls for killing in the name of Jacob Zuma are not causing alarm so much as tut-tuts.

2. Zimbabwe is now involved in serious talks aimed at settling that country's political crisis. It has only been a few days, so chickens ought not to be counted. But as soon as there is any advance on this front, the dividend for South Africa and this region will be phenomenal.

Comment: So the score is 2-2. Will we go into Extra Time and if it comes down to a penalty shoot-out, will anybody be able to clearly see the goalposts?

Monday, July 28, 2008

Joe Public Jnr strikes back!

In an online story, IOL reports that a boy has beaten up an armed robber ...

An eight-year-old Centurion boy saved the life of his mother and family after overpowering an armed house robber and beating him up. For the Mothusi family, Ramaeba is their hero.
Virginia Mothusi had been woken up earlier by two men who had walked into the house through the front door which had been left unlocked.
Her screams and the noise of the two wrestling for control of a gun saw Ramaeba racing to his mother's rescue.
Leaping at the gunman Ramaeba gave him several kicks to the stomach before jumping on top of him, hitting and punching him in the face and neck.
Says
Ramaeba's mother, "He was screaming and shouting for the man to leave me alone. He jumped at the man and kicked and punched him, taking him completely by surprise. He was like a wild animal.
The startled gunman and his accomplice fled with the few electrical appliances that they had taken outside the house before they were spotted.
Ramaeba and his 11-year-old sister, Bakang, helped direct police in the direction the gunmen had fled.


Comment: Hey awesome dude! Someone I'd like to see become a leader in years to come

Josephine Public strikes back!

News24 reports how a local Port Elizabeth ballerina Pasqual Burger, 17, set all thoughts of graceful movement aside to help a friend. She helped to prevent hijackers from getting away with the car of a fellow dancer, Beathe Barnard, on Friday [25 July]. Two armed men attacked Barnard when she got to her car in the parking lot behind the ballet studio in Mount Pleasant after ballet practice.

Burger says, "I yanked the man from behind the steering wheel.
When he was out of the car, he threw me to the ground.
I jumped up and grabbed him again - I just didn't want him to get into that car again ... I didn't really take a decision to help Beathe ... it just came automatically."

Comment: You go girl! Womandla and all that ...



Friday, July 25, 2008

Separated at birth? Ebagum & Gollum





















In so many ways, this image of Ebagum tells everything of the way in which one man, once revered as 1980s-era Zimbabwe's greatest hope for change. Now, if only a Fellowship of the Ring could band together to unseat this dark lord from power. How long will this piece of colonial collateral damage remain in power, gloating like Gollum over his preciousssssssss ...

Zuma speaks up for poor whities

In an IOL article by Kanina Foss Zuma speaks up for poor whities

The Solidarity trade union says ANC President Jacob Zuma has broken the silence around some of South Africa's forgotten people: poor whites.
On Thursday, Zuma made a return visit to the indigent white community at the Bethlehem settlement in Pretoria North.
Addressing more than 1 000 people from about 40 different white settlements in the Pretoria area, Zuma faced a more subdued South African audience than he's accustomed to. There was silence as he climbed the podium, and a lone ululation as he approached the lectern.
Zuma said: "By working together we will do away with the perception that there are problems that are specifically white and problems that are specifically black."
Zuma first visited the settlement in April, when he took Solidarity up on its offer to show him white people who were struggling. He was shocked by the extent of the problem. Many residents live in wooden Wendy houses without electricity.
"I didn't realise there was a sector that could be referred to as poor whites in this country," he said. "I was shocked and I was surprised when I came here, because here was reality staring at me."
Zuma said he'd been struck by the similarity of the issues in the Bethlehem settlement and the issues in black townships.

Comment: No shite Sherlock! There are indeed humans of all skin colours struggling to deal with the severe bread and butter challenges of liFe (with a capital F) in the almost-as-good-as-new Sarth Effrika.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

SA: Ex-Prison Official Hijacked, strangled and left on a dirt road

According to a News24 article headed 'We don't forgive the killers'
22 Jul 2008

Cape Town - The family of a Department of Correctional Services former brigadier, Willie Rousseau, 76, of Jacobs Bay, have described his murder as senseless, barbaric and humiliating.
About 16:20 on Friday, Rousseau drove to buy cigarettes at a nearby café, as he did every day. His wife, Joey, became worried when he was not back at his usual time.
By 04:00 on Saturday, the satellite tracking device in his vehicle showed that the car was in the Malmesbury area.
Rousseau's bakkie was hijacked and he was strangled to death.
[An arrested] suspect then took police to the place where Rousseau's body lay in a pool of water on a gravel road near Hopefield.
The two suspects they arrested, Cedric Lottering and Ricardo Petersen, both of Saldanha Bay, appeared in the Circuit Court in Velddrif on Monday on charges of theft and murder.
[ends]

Comment: I'm wildly guessing this the reason so many people are making plans to leave this crazy, beautiful, gentle and wild country – one of the best and worst life experiences Africa has to offer

Friday, July 18, 2008

Holy Smoke! More bang for your buck?

AUSTRALIA – According to ANATARA News, a brothel offering a special discount during Pope Benedict XVI's visit to Sydney says business had more than doubled since the pontiff arrived.
The owner of the upmarket bordello Xclusive said that she had hired extra women to meet increased demand during the July 15-20 World Youth Day events, which have seen hundreds of thousands of pilgrims descend on Sydney.
While the brothel was not targeting pilgrims, a 10 percent discount for people associated with World Youth Day, including the 3,000 to 5,000 media covering the papal visit, had significantly boosted business, she said.
"We put on another five staff and they've all been busy," she says.
The owner said the pope's mid-winter Australian visit, for celebrations designed to rejuvenate the Catholic Church among young people, came at a time when business was traditionally slow.

A curious world we inhabit indeed

Thursday, July 10, 2008

SA argument over Durban's Mugabe Street

South Africa's Durban municipality has denied that a road called Mugabe Street is named after Zimbabwe's leader Robert Mugabe, who won disputed polls in June 2008.

Siyabonga Mngadi, chair of the street renaming task team, told the BBC the street was named after a "local hero".
He was responding to complaints from residents quoted in the media, calling for the road to be renamed.
"Why name the street after a leader who does not respect democracy?" one told South Africa's Sowetan newspaper.

==
Okay immediate thoughts
If it's named after a local hero, can we at least know who that local hero is or was? And if not, can the Durban council at least 'fess up and get rid of the damned thang. In fact, can't we find the biggest, smelliest, most vile rubbish dump or landfill in South Africa and name that in Robert Mugabe's honour?



Wednesday, July 09, 2008

How d'ya say 'Cheers' in Dutch?


On a lighter, fresher note ...

Global brewing giant SABMiller's South African unit, SAB, said the reaction of local customers to the introduction of Grolsch had been outstanding and early sales are "very encouraging".

The first batch of the premium Dutch brew was recently introduced to South Africa in a tightly-controlled distribution plan.
The iconic 450 ml "swingtop" bottle and the 330 ml flat-sided crown top are both being made available, imported from the Grolsch brewery in The Netherlands in non-returnable packaging.

LA Times: Zim militia hold women as sex slaves

From the Los Angeles Times
July 7, 2008

Zimbabwe youth militias accused of holding women as sex slaves

HARARE, ZIMBABWE — She has to call the young men her "comrades." She cooks food for the comrades and serves them. She sweeps the comrades' floor and cleans up after them. And whenever any of the comrades want sex, she is raped.

Asiatu, 21, is a prisoner of the comrades at a command base of the ruling ZANU-PF party, one of 900 such camps set up by the party to terrorize Zimbabweans into voting for Robert Mugabe in the one-man presidential runoff late last month and extending his 28-year rule. The election is over, but the terror isn't.

She has been at the base for about 10 weeks, ever since she was abducted in the middle of the night because her mother is a supporter of the opposition Movement for Democratic Change.

"I'm still at the base. I'm being raped by four or five men daily," she whispers, bursting into tears. "Any time they want, night or day. To me, a comrade is a murderer, someone who's cruel."

She has to stay most of each day and night at the base, a sex slave of the thuggish youth militias unleashed by the government. The Times interviewed her during one of the several short daily periods she is allowed to leave the ZANU-PF base. When asked why she doesn't escape during that time, Asiatu gives a chilling explanation: "They promised me if I run away, my mother will be killed."

Asiatu has given up believing in the possibility of her own freedom, yet she has not lost her belief that the country will somehow be transformed. "If the situation continues like this, the country will remain ashes," she says. But when she expresses her hopes, the fear seems to lift for a moment. Her voice is firm and clear: "There's going to be a change. I feel change coming."

FULL STORY AT URL HERE
http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/front/la-fg-sexslave7-2008jul07,0,5316697.story

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Ebagum Show continues

Yessim, it's been a loooooong while,
but I'd kinda hoped the Zim situation might have untangled itself by now.

No such dang luck.

Uncle Bob Mugabe (aka Ebagum) continues his insane tirade against the gay colonialists and Aunty Grace "Many Funerals" Mirafu keeps digging graves for all her many pairs of designer shoes.

1. In the mean time, a pregnant man gave birth to a bonny baby girrrl on Sunday 29 June. Thomas Beatie, 34, is both a Proud Dad and a Beaming Mother, the best of both worlds perhaps? And his/her daughter? “She’s really cute, really pretty,” a source told ABC News.

2. And today (Tues 8 July) it was confirmed that Simon Mann will prolly spend the rest of his life behind bars for plotting to overthrow the tinpot government of Equatorial Guinea

3. In latest news from the ongoing G8 Summit, it seems Africa's current Class of 2008 Leaders continue to fiddle while Harare burns.
According to The Financial Times:

'Leaders from the developed world and Africa yesterday failed to agree on how to deal with the crisis in Zimbabwe, which overshadowed a meeting between the Group of Eight [G8] and seven African heads of state Appearing at a joint news conference with President George W Bush, Jakaya Kikwete, president of Tanzania and chairman of the African Union, said: "The only area where we may differ is on the way forward."'

Somehow that foolishly, fandangled frase gets to me:
The only area where we may differ is on the way forward

In other words, when it comes to African Quiet Diplomacy,
we simply don't know how to go forward ...

Or in other words, you might as well fuck me sideways



Sunday, May 04, 2008

ZEC's releases "official" presidential election results



BAH HUMBUG...
THE ZEC'S "OFFICIAL"
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION RESULTS


It has taken the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission almost five weeks to verify less than two and a half million votes that were cast in our Presidential ballot. In a country where junior school children have learnt to count, add, subtract and even multiply in millions and now billions in order to survive our collapsed economy, five weeks is insulting and highly suspicious to say the least.

After five weeks the ZEC declared the following results:

Morgan Tsvangirai
1 195 562 votes (47,9%)

Robert Mugabe
1 079 730 votes (43,2%)

Simba Makoni
207 470 votes (8,3%)

Langton Towungana
14 503 votes (0,6%)


ZEC went on to declare that since no candidate had received more than 50% of the votes cast, a run-off election must be held at a date yet to be announced.

Piechart graphic from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7382319.stm


VIOLENCE
The American Ambassador to Zimbabwe, James McGee, said he was personally recording incidents of violence and interviewing victims. Mr McGee said: "We are looking and taking note of the people responsible for the violence. Out of the 500 cases that I have handled, only one has been attributed to the MDC as an aggressor. We have affidavits; we have the names of the perpetrators. We know the perpetrators and there will be justice at the end of the day."

INFLATION
When Zimbabweans voted on 29 March, a loaf of bread cost Zim$ 7 million.
On 29 April a loaf of bread cost $Zim 40 million.

==
NOTE: Cathy Buckle's website: www.cathybuckle.com
Extracts snipped from Cathy Buckle's newsletter
To subscribe to Cathy's newsletter, email cbuckle@mango.zw

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Raucous Parties At Fidentia Spa

Santé goes Super Sexy: The High Life of Fat Cat Curators
From a report compiled by Lauren Cohen
Published: 13 Apr 2008
Online at The Times

Two loud parties where booze flowed freely have been held at a luxury hotel and spa that is supposed to be off-limits to the public after being shut down by curators investigating the Fidentia scandal.

A LIST OF THE PARTYGOERS’ NAMES, ID NUMBERS
AND CAR REGISTRATIONS WAS COMPILED BY POLICE
BEFORE THE REVELLERS WERE ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE PROPERTY


Three months after the first bash, Fidentia curators are still unable to explain how the revelry was allowed at the Santé Winelands Hotel in the Paarl-Franschhoek valley. Santé was owned by the financial services group Fidentia but it is now under the care of curators’ attorney DINES GIHWALA and forensic accountant GEORGE PAPADAKIS.
Loud music alerted homeowners near the property to a party being thrown last month at the spa’s swimming pool.Installed at huge cost, the heated indoor pool features multi-height body jets, neck massage and counter-current resistance swimming.Resident Jadrick Coetzee said he saw about 20 people in the spa and swimming pool.“A man called Sakhumzi Mpayipheli told me he was in charge and that he worked for JULIAN JONES (an attorney at Hofmeyr Herbstein & Gihwala).
[Note: Former Fidentia employees can confirm it is an open secret that within weeks of joining the Fidentia Curators team in Feb 2007, Mr JULIAN JONES snapped up a great curator's perk. He started banging one of Fidentia's doe-eyed receptionists.]
Speaking about the Santé party, Western Cape police spokesman, ANDRÉ TRAUT, said: “We attended the scene, but no case docket was registered. The trespassers were officially warned to leave the area.”
Speaking from Norway this week, Gihwala was adamant a police investigation was under way, but refused to continue talking because of high international call charges. [Now, there's a laugh]
One of the partygoers, Khayelihle Buthelezi, said: “It was just a party, an honest party. We wanted to be away from Cape Town on that particular day, and it was free. It was a party with some guys from Telkom’s engineering division... My understanding is one of the guys is one of the investigators in the Fidentia (case). He’s the one who organised the keys and everything. The pool was bubbling, we put our bar out and had a good time. The place was empty.”

Previously, on New Year’s Day, a former Santé employee who is now hotel manager, Tommy Fortuin, held a braai for 17 of his friends. According to a complaint letter, “Estate residents complained about the noise and, on inspection, a security officer found Mr Fortuin drunk and asleep at the pool while his guests were having a party in the pool. He was so drunk he could not speak or stand up.”Fortuin denied all. “I don’t drink.” Yet Fortuin was the only person with keys to the building, but would not explain how partygoers gained entrance.
Papadakis says he has no knowledge of the parties, despite an email from the homeowners’ association sent to him on April 2. Papadakis has confirmed Fidentia staff enjoyed a year-end lunch at the spa last year.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

FLASHBACK: Noseweek Mar 2007

WARNING: IF THE FIDENTIA SCANDAL BORES YOU,
PLEASE SKIP THIS POST

Shades of Brown
NOSEWEEK Issue 89 - March 2007

No - we don't know where the money is. Nor do we know to what extent the accounting records are deficient. No doubt all will become clear when the matter goes back to court this month. But there is a side to the Fidentia story which hasn’t been told – a side the mainstream press were unlikely to publish, either because they couldn’t get their heads around it, or because they didn’t want to upset the financial establishment (in this case the Financial Services Board (FSB), a major source for their stories, and big advertisers such as Momentum Life and FirstRand). The known story goes like this: An obscure financial services company, Fidentia Asset Management, had suddenly become one of SA’s biggest financial management groups, managing funds for the likes of the Mine Workers Provident Fund (MWPF), and with the big banks happily entrusting hundreds of millions to its care. Then, just as suddenly, it’s under curatorship by the FSB, which says Fidentia’s bookkeeping is up to maggots and hundreds of millions are missing or have been invested in places they oughtn’t to have been. Orphans and widows of mineworkers haven’t been paid their allowances for months and risk losing out entirely. Arthur Brown, a man none of us had heard of until yesterday, is personally responsible. And he drives a Ferrari, which, according to Personal Finance’s Bruce Cameron, clinches the argument.Not quite. For a start, at noseweek we take a less sanguine view of the FSB’s commitment to keeping the financial services industry on the straight and narrow. Their handling/coverup of the Saambou collapse has bordered on the positively shady; Masterbond they turned into a liquidators’ fee extravaganza (their only real concern seems to have been to cover their own dirty tracks); Crusader Life ... the FSB has somehow never got around to telling us what really happened there. All we do know is that one of the more eminent rogues in the Crusader saga who got off scot-free, then FNB boss Basil Hersov, continues in life as a successful broker of secret arms deal “commissions”.The public’s lack of confidence in the FSB is only matched by its growing lack of confidence in banks, insurance companies and the financial services sector in general, where the terms “rip-off” and “mega-buck packages for top executives” come to mind long before “good service” or “fair deal”.So, while there are many reasons for being critical of Fidentia, nothing is to be taken at face value – not even that Ferrari, as it transpires: two years ago Brown bought an old 1972 Ferrari Triple B from a friend for R200 000 – and sold it two months later for a similar amount. He actually drives a luxurious, but much less flamboyant, Lexus 470 – when he’s not driving the family VW Caravelle. When there’s a fallout amongst, no, not thieves, but “financial practitioners”, you’re sure to learn more about all of them. In December 2002 Brown Brothers, the company Brown had formed in 1999 with his two brothers, bought the dormant Fidentia Asset Management for just R100 000. To operate they needed someone the FSB would approve as a “key individual”. Enter ex-JSE employee Rudi Bam who persuaded Brown that he could get the approval in return for a 5% shareholding. (In the end, Bam got 30%.). But a year passed without Bam getting FSB approval. In September they revealed that this was because he had been fired from the JSE for financial impropriety.For this reason, says Brown, Fidentia parted company with Bam. (Although Bam’s resignation letter in November 2006 says: “The lack of transparency in the Brown Brothers Group and its business dealings create risk for me as a director.”) They agreed to pay him a healthy R8.5 million for his shares, plus his R1.25m tax liability – the sort of “pally” deal that’s now standard in the industry, but leaves clients perturbed.) Fidentia found a new partner, who was given FSB approval almost immediately. To kick off, Fidentia bought Software Futures, which provided the know-how to supply administration integration services to various sectors. It bought smart card management company Infinity. It bought Matco, the company charged with paying monies invested by the MWPF to the families of men killed in mining accidents. With this deal, Fidentia became South Africa’s largest administrator of death and disability benefits into trusts, administering around 80 000 trusts.Lest it be accused of being boring, Fidentia bought the acclaimed Sante Winelands Hotel & Wellness Centre, a 50% shareholding of Boland rugby, and 100% of the Manning Rangers soccer team. And it did some warm and fuzzy social stuff too – a cricket sponsorship, a sponsorship of a youth choir and a youth sports academy (Fidentia paid the living and tuition fees of some 160 children), a R4 million bursary fund...Fidentia took empowerment seriously too. No half-measures for Mr Brown, he went straight to the A list and appointed Danisa Baloyi to his board Danisa Baloyi – 2003 Businesswoman of the Year, BEE champion, executive director of the National Black Business Caucus, director with Mrs Mbeki of SA Women Investments Holding, SA Tourism, Denel, the Don Group (the hotels not the mob bosses), AMD, ABSA, Adcorp – we could go on and on.

RUDI BAM
At about this time Bam returned to the scene – claiming that he was still a shareholder and demanding to be paid out (at the then current share price). After he threatened Fidentia with exposure of reckless trading if it didn’t pay up, Fidentia sued Bam in the Cape High Court for the return of its shares. Bam defended the case – and in August filed an affidavit at court containing some devastating charges about irregularities at Fidentia. (These charges are clearly the basis of much that had emerged from the FSB and in the press in recent weeks.) In November 2006 Judge Dennis Davis found for Fidentia and ordered Bam to transfer his shares for no more payment. But Fidentia’s most critical acquisition would be companies held by MCubed, a group with three distinct businesses – MCubed Unit Trust Management, Automated Outsourcing (AOS), and a life insurance business called MCubed Life. Fidentia bought MCubed Unit Trust Management and renamed it Ayanda, which resulted in Fidentia being the largest unit trust management company in the country. Fidentia also bought AOS – another smart move, because in May 2006 AOS won the administration contract for Satrix, ahead of Absa. AOS does unit trust administration for all four of the big banks and has some R35 billion under administration.But a due diligence that Fidentia commissioned on MCubed Life revealed some serious problems. For example the company ran two pension preservation funds without FSB or SARS approval. Fund accounting had never been done. Conflicting statements had been submitted to the FSB, and some R100m was owing to SARS (it eventually settled on R80 million). MCubed Life’s business methods clearly breached exchange control regulations. And – one of the responsible MCubed executives had a cocaine problem, claims Brown, who says that the man was a close personal friend of FSB head Rob Barrow.Yet the FSB had queried nothing and had somehow contrived to give the company a clean bill of health. Brown did raise questions with the FSB but it said all was well. Brown wasn’t convinced and decided that he would do things by the book to ensure that Fidentia had the necessary approval. Brown’s attitude worried MCubed, because it saw the possibility of the deal falling through. Then MCubed director Bruce Dunnington phoned one day to say he’d arranged for Brown to meet the FSB’s then head of Collective Investment Schemes (now Deputy Executive Officer, Pensions), one Jurgen Boyd. The meeting would take place the following evening at a restaurant in Mandela Square. Brown found this a bit strange (meetings with senior civil servants normally take place in dreary government buildings), but, as Boyd would tell him on a later occasion, the FSB prefers the “eyeball to eyeball” approach. Brown pitched up with a senior Fidentia employee, and the two watched Boyd drink generous quantities of some very expensive whisky, courtesy of Fidentia. Boyd, says Brown, spoke passionately of his love for deep-sea fishing, and of his children’s new interest in quad bikes – and chatted on about “the price of doing business in Africa”. Now Brown didn’t like the price of doing business in Africa Boyd’s way. But MCubed’s Dunnington apparently did. A few days later, says Brown, Dunnington told him that he had arranged to take Boyd on a deep-sea fishing trip. Days later the FSB licence arrived. (Boyd admits meeting with Brown, admits talking about fishing but can’t remember anything about quad bikes, denies that he was taken fishing in Durban by Dunnington and says Cape Town’s his spot for deep sea fishing. Dunnington didn’t return our call.) Brown was still concerned that Fidentia could be liable for the period that MCubed Life operated without approval, so he asked the FSB to indemnify Fidentia for any claims which might come out of the woodwork. The FSB declined, and launched its own investigation into MCubed Life. According to Brown the FSB’s Phillip Langenhoven told him not to buy the life company because the whole thing was “such a mess”. It seems the FSB was keen to get its hands on the due diligence report done by Fidentia on MCubed, and FSB staffers told Brown that FSB head Rob Barrow was worried that Fidentia would sue the FSB for carelessly giving MCubed a clean bill of health. Brown took the FSB’s advice. The FSB, however, has never seen fit to warn the public about the mess at MCubed Life. And when Fidentia announced that it wasn’t proceeding with the purchase, MCubed Life’s share value dropped some 260%. A real blow to big shareholders like MCubed MD, John Storey? No says, Brown – Storey sold his shares just at the right time. Phew!Besides holding on to MCubed Life, MCubed also kept its 50% shareholding Advantage Asset Management (the other 50% was held by Momentum Life) – Advantage had,in fact, been running MCubed Unit Trust Management’s business for the past four years. Now this was clearly unlawful because Advantage had no licence to do so. MCubed Unit Trust Management had the licence. Advantage was also acting as asset manager and as administrator instructing the trustee. By law, according to Brown, these must be separate entities. Advantage was, in fact, operating as administrator instructing the trustee, in place of Absa – this was illegal, but Absa had taken the precaution of getting an indemnity from Advantage should it get caught. Even when it was told about this, the FSB did absolutely nothing.

MCUBED - CUT OUR LOSSES & MOVE ON
Which meant that all Fidentia got for its R18 million payment for MCubed Unit Trust Management was the licence – no clients, no business at all. Advantage then applied for its own licence, and, thanks to Momentum’s influence, got it double-quick (six weeks rather than the usual six months plus) – despite the fact that if you’ve traded without a licence there must be a full investigation. To add salt to the wound, Momentum director Frans Truter and Leon Von Moltke of Rand Merchant Bank told two senior Fidentia employees to “play nicely” or face the consequences – which Fidentia understood to mean they should accept the situation. Brown was outraged, and threatened to expose Absa for allowing Advantage to act on Absa’s behalf. The threat worked – Absa made sure that Fidentia got the full unit trust business, including the clients. Because Brown was concerned that Fidentia would face claims for MCubed’s past conduct, Fidentia wrote a very detailed letter to the FSB on 17 May 2006, demanding that it enforce the Collective Investments Schemes Control Act.

FSB HAS IT IN FOR FIDENTIA
That, contends Brown, is what triggered the FSB’s action against Fidentia.Which is not how Advantage and Momentum tell it. According to Advantage Asset Managers’ MD Morris Mthombeni, MCubed Unit Trust Management outsourced the management function to Advantage Asset Managers in terms of a portfolio management agreement; the investment administration it outsourced to AOS. MCubed Unit Trust Management itself retained only the compliance function. This, he says, is perfectly lawful. By the time it heard of Fidentia’s offer to buy MCubed Unit Trust Management, Advantage had already decided to form its own unit trust management company and applied for a licence. This licence took six months, not three weeks, to get. Whilst Fidentia was awaiting regulatory approval for the MCubed Unit Trust purchase, Brown met with Advantage and tried (unsuccessfully) to persuade it not to move into unit trust management. When Fidentia’s purchase of MCubed Unit Trust Management went through Fidentia fired Advantage as the portfolio manager and asset administrator, and instructed it to liquidate the portfolio and transfer the proceeds to Fidentia. Advantage asked the FSB for directions and were instructed to ignore the instruction until such time as the issue could be cleared up at a meeting.Various meetings took place where Fidentia alleged that it had no knowledge of the agreement between MCubed Unit Trust Management and Advantage. Advantage disputes this – it was right there in the Fidentia due diligence files! In any event, Fidentia had previously tried to buy MCubed Holdings’ share of Advantage, which showed that it knew that it needed the company (the share was eventually bought by Momentum for R140 million). Eventually an agreement was reached in terms of which Advantage kept the bulk of the business. Momentum director Frans Truter remembers meeting with Fidentia, but denies making any threats. Brown insists that he has never seen a portfolio management agreement and that Advantage has never been able to present such a document to either Fidentia or the FSB. Besides an agreement like that would be illegal – you can only outsource to a licensed company and Advantage wasn’t licensed. (Brown says there’s still an ongoing FSB investigation into the matter.) As for Advantage’s dream of owning an asset manager company, Brown insists that Advantage’s application was completed in no more than six weeks. And Fidentia has acquired all of the business which it bought.So much for that. The other story hidden away in the “known” story relates to the Mine Workers Pension Fund, and Fidentia’s purchase of Matco.The MWPF employs a company called Lekana to administer the fund, and also employs various asset managers. It also instructs a separate company to act as trustee for paying out benefits – in this case Matco, a section 37(C,2) trustee which pays the beneficiaries’ monthly expenses and preserves the capital, and instructs an asset manger to take care of surplus funds. When Matco had this position it instructed Old Mutual Symmetry as asset manager.To ensure that it received and kept the business, Matco had been paying kickbacks to the MWPF and to Lekana (a R600 000 monthly payment, for example, was disguised as rent). These payments, according to Brown, totalled many millions. Former MWPF executive officer Frans Mahlangu, who has of late been cast in the role of the hero who lost his job when he tried to expose the rot, was a major beneficiary of Matco’s largesse. He drove a car paid for by Matco and his bond payments were met by Matco, as were his children’s school fees. Not content with getting kickbacks, Mahlangu, says Brown, ran a lucrative fraudulent claims business on the side. (A certain C N Gxebeka was receiving payments as the wife of four mineworkers, the mother of three, the guardian of four and the sister of two – we have a whole file on this). Mahlangu worked out of Lekana’s offices, which clearly already compromised his independence.When Fidentia bought Matco in October 2004, its name was changed to Living Hands. Fidentia then took the asset management function away from Old Mutual Symmetry and appointed Fidentia Asset Management. Brown asserts that in the period that Fidentia performed the trust function, Fidentia achieved what Old Mutual couldn’t – capital growth.Brown says it grew from some R1.028 billion to R1.1 billion, despite some R450 million being paid out to beneficiaries. He rejects the allegation made by Mahlangu that there were ever incomplete or late payments to beneficiaries. Putting a stop to the kickbacks, says Brown, made it much more difficult for Mahlangu to run his fraudulent claim scheme.Frans Truter of Momentum, who is also chairman of Lekana, tells noseweek that there’s an investigation going on into corruption at Lekana and the MWPF, which Lekana administers. Lekana’s shareholders are the Mineworkers’ Investment Company (MIC) and Momentum (which is also a shareholder of Advantage). The sole shareholder of MIC is the Mineworkers Investment Trust, which is controlled by the National Union of Mineworkers (NUM), and it’s basically the vehicle whereby mineworkers became part of the capitalist system in the new South Africa. MIC has a 1% shareholding in Firstrand, and its CEO, Paul Nkuna, is a director of Firstrand. Lekana’s CE is Philip Mjoli and he’s on the board of Momentum. Which is a wholly owned subsidiary of FirstRand. So it’s all quite cosy between the MWPF, Lekana, Momentum and Firstrand.It turns out there’s been a bit of a problem with MWPF’s database. A computer whiz called Suiki Alston who was employed by Lekana, ostensibly to clean up the database, was fired when she expressed concern at the potential for fraud. When she leaked information to the MWPF trustees and the FSB, she was threatened by attorneys Routledge Modise. In 2003, auditors Deloitte did a small (R99 000) audit of the MWPF and noted, without comment, that the funds’ membership had dropped in one year by some 38 000, mainly because of “linked or duplicate records”. In 2004, KPMG did a big (R600 000) audit and, although being quite soft on Lekana, did note that “the lack of segregation of duties” could cause “manipulation of data” and that “from the mine could be changed through human intervention”. It also noted that in 2001 a “syndicate was exposed that was defrauding the Fund by means of fraudulent retrenchment claims”. Brown reckons the FSB is investigating because he’s managed to piss off a lot of people, particularly at Momentum and the FSB. We’re not taking Brown’s word for it – charges against Fidentia have gone way beyond the “complaints” that Brown alleges are all he’s been told about.noseweek notes that one of the FSB appointed curators is none other than George Papadakis. In nose86, in a piece dealing with the Kebble saga and tax fraudster Mauro Sabbatini, we said: “Gobodo Forensic and Investigative Accounting has no qualified accountants on its staff. The office is headed by George Papadakis, as legendary as Sabbatini for his connections in the SARS and his skill in ‘fixing’ things – like getting criminal investigations to ‘disappear’”. Apart from firing staff, the curators are looking for buyers for Fidentia’s assets, including Sante. A few months back it was regarded as Africa’s top spa destination and ranked in the world’s top twenty – worth R600m says Brown. It would be a great pity for the widows and orphans if the value dropped dramatically. On the other hand this wouldn’t be such a pity for a man from Forever Resorts, who, within days of the curatorship, arrived at Sante to examine the property with a view to purchasing it. And let it slip that he’s a close personal friend of Dawood Seedat. Who heads the FSB investigation into Fidentia.

FSB'S BARROW BOYS
A former senior FSB inspector (who resigned to take a job at Fidentia), [He never received a cent. The FSB made sure of that] has some interesting things to say about the FSB. His allegations are alarming in the light of Trevor Manuel’s ringing endorsement of the FSB in the Sunday Times of 18 February 2007: “If the public are not confident that we are able to put something away for our children without the money being lost, then we break the link with the future.”

FSB: A DEN OF THIEVES & MALCONTENTS
The former inspector’s “report” alleges that the FSB is run by an inner circle consisting of head Rob Barrow, deputies Gerry Anderson and Dube Tsedi, head of inspectorate Dawood Seedat, and HR head Jabu Hlelatoa. Seedat, as inspector, should by law act independently of the registrars. Hlelatoa, it is claimed, has a “propensity to accept bribes” and is currently being investigated for taking kickbacks. Dube Tsedi, who is being groomed for the top spot, “is known” to promote female staff for personal favours – there are stories of him fathering a staffer’s child; of a special promotion for one young lady; of getting someone who alleged sexual harassment fired. Seedat apparently tells anyone who will listen that he was a Scorpion (wow!) and that his political connections will get him the role of Auditor General within three years. Jurgen Boyd – the keen fisherman of our main story – though not in the inner circle, is well connected, having been employed at the same accounting firm as Seedat. It came as a surprise when Boyd was promoted to his position in pensions as he has no knowledge of the subject. (“It’s something of a standing joke at the FSB that incompetence is rewarded.”) Boyd is “known for accepting corporate gifts in excess of policy amount”, and it is said that “collegial relationships exist between Boyd and a number of industry players”. The Fidentia inspection, says the ex-inspector, is riddled with impropriety. Rob Barrow, Gerry Anderson and Dawood Seedat are treating this matter as a vendetta and are using their old pal, Bruce Cameron of Personal Finance, to drive public opinion against Fidentia. The vendetta relates to information that Fidentia uncovered in its due diligence at MCubed Life, and the mess at the MWPF. Seedat claims this case will make his career. He alleges the recent Alexander Forbes exposé came about through illegal leaks from FSB officials; that the Fedbond scandal was caused by the FSB giving approval where it shouldn’t have been (Rob Barrow personally overruled recommendations that no approval be given); that Gerry Anderson awarded care of the Ovation and Common Cents financial businesses to an unrehabiliated insolvent; that Vantage Pension Administrators (Leslie Zulberg) was not licensed to accept pension monies into its account, which the FSB overlooked, and only when Zulberg started making noises of improprieties at the FSB, the FSB investigated Vantage (Dube Tsidi at some stage replacing the investigators with someone close to the inner circle and quite happy to alter reports, one Cor Potgieter) and then put it under curatorship. Documents, reports and client’s information are regularly altered to support whatever position best suits the FSB, he says. Rob Barrow personally altered the FSB’s 2006 management report which went to Parliament, despite objections from staff members. The FSB declined to comment on our main report but rose to this one.Says spokesman Russel Michaels:The information that you have received is obviously sourced from a person who was employed by the FSB up until the end of January 2007 when he left to join Fidentia which was placed into curatorship on 1 February 2007 and he found himself without employment. The information, in most cases, is untrue, speculative and uninformed and any person who is responsible for the publication thereof will in due course be held accountable in terms of the confidentiality requirements contained in FSB Legislation.We trust that people reading your journal will appreciate that you publish this type of article purely for sensation and that it is fraught with inaccuracies and untruths.It is also extremely unfortunate that you would be prepared to print something of this nature which is clearly an act of vengeance by parties who seek to detract from the consequences of their actions thus attempting to undermine the integrity of the FSB and the financial services industry in South Africa.The FSB and the people mentioned reserve all of their rights if you proceed to publish this article.

CAMERON AND CAMERON: ARE THEY A COUPLE?
Brown believes Personal Finances’ Bruce Cameron has been the driving force behind the FSB’s investigation of Fidentia. In an interview with Bruce Whitfield, when asked whether the FSB was responsible for the fiasco, Cameron declared: “You know it has been a very tough job for the FSB. I do have some sympathy with them because we have been working on it (the Fidentia enquiry) and keeping the FSB informed of what we have been doing and investigating, but Fidentia have been using lawyers at every turn. As soon as somebody walks into my office with a lawyer immediately I get suspicious. I think he arrived in his Ferrari too.” Moneyweb website’s also had plenty to say about Fidentia. In “Fidentia: It’s our worst nightmare” it claims that: “Brown and his cronies – retired cricketers Eric Simons, Dave Callaghan and Merrick Pringle are amongst the ‘employees’ who have looted the Living Hands Trust, previously worth R1,2bn, almost to the point of extinction”. Alec Hogg apparently watered this down after complaints from the sportsmen. And on 12 February, Jackie Cameron, in a Moneyweb piece on Brown’s wife, Susan, owner of the Facets gym says: “Cape Town’s pole-dancing queen, wife of Arthur, does a disappearing trick” – apparently because Cameron couldn’t find Susan Brown at her “four-storey playpen”. (The Facets gym offers pole-dancing exercises at its large premises in Century City.) And in “Brown’s leading ladies,” she dealt with Brown’s alleged affair. Of Fidentia employee Angelique Tostee, she says: “An attractive blonde, Tostee has been named within Fidentia circles as Brown’s ‘blue-eyed girl’”. And, says Cameron, Sandi Dekker, manager of Sante, is “said to enjoy a good relationship with Brown”. The gossip according to Cameron, is that Sante is “playing host to Arthur Brown who has been avoiding the media spotlight”. Whatever are you saying Jackie? Financial journalism at it’s best! Perhaps Brown has reason to refuse to talk to Personal Finance and Moneyweb!

[ends]

Fidentia flashback Mar 2007

WARNING: IF THE FIDENTIA SCANDAL BORES YOU,
PLEASE SKIP THIS POST

FIDENTIA "BRAINS" SELLS UP MONEYWEB LIFTS LID ON MD JOHAN LINDE, BALOYI BOSOM PAL - PLUS HIS LUXURY HOUSES.

JACKIE CAMERON MAR 2007

The once-secretive Fidentia Chairman Arthur Brown has become a household name in South Africa as details of the biggest raid on savings' coffers continue to unfold. But Brown's little-known aide-de-camp Johan Linde is fast-appearing to have been one of the main movers-and-shakers of the Fidentia operation.In addition to holding senior positions in Fidentia, and coming into the business as a friend of Brown, Linde is also a bosom-buddy to black economic empowerment heavyweight, Dr Danisa Baloyi.He is a director of Baloyi's South African Women's Investment Holdings (SAWIH), according to the Financial Services Board (FSB).Moneyweb is reliably informed that he also ensured Fidentia paid an admission of guilt fine for Baloyi in connection with Value Added Tax transgressions. The South African Revenue Service does not officially comment on the affairs of taxpayers.Linde, 40, is understood to have earned an income of at least R200 000/month while working for Fidentia.Lavish spendingLike Brown, Linde spent money as though it was not his own. He recently razed an expensive house in one of Cape Town's exclusive suburbs to rebuild a multi-million rand mansion.Moneyweb recently visited Linde's five-bedroom house in Belle Ombre Road, Tamboerskloof. The renovated and extended Victorian is on sale for about R3,5m - and standing empty.

SELL! SELL! SELL!
He is evidently eager to sell the home as the property is the best priced in its category, according to price information for that area.A potential buyer has made an offer, but the property is still considered to be "on the market" by local agents.A few blocks higher up the rump of Lion's Head, Linde and his partner Daria Schulz, have recently razed a R2m house and replaced it with an enormous R9m residence. The property is in Bay View Avenue, Tamboerskloof.

THE KING MUST LIVE IN A CASTLE
Brown and his wife demolished a multi-million rand seafront house in Sunset Beach, Cape Town, and were planning to build a new home around the time Fidentia was placed under curatorship.Linde's brand-new Bay View Avenue house appeared empty from the outside, and he was away - allegedly in Paarl - last week. But a domestic worker told Moneyweb on Monday that Linde and Schulz and children were at home.The couple failed to return Moneyweb's calls.Moneyweb can reveal that Linde played a key role in decision-making around investors' funds that made their way into the hands of Fidentia and related entities.Brown's right-hand manWe interviewed Linde about two years ago. At the time, he told us he came into the business because he was friends with Brown and other Fidentia founders. A right-hand man to Brown, Linde said Fidentia might "buy" Moneyweb around the time it had embarked on a corporate spending spree, offering way above market-related prices for companies.The former Fidentia MD, unlike a number of other senior Fidentia players, is highly educated. He studied for an MBA at the University of Cape Town's Graduate School of Business and was apparently one of its top students.In Breakwater Business, a UCT publication, Linde is cited as coming second along with fellow team members (class of 2001) in a South African university business schools' case study challenge.Sources say Linde used to regularly bandy about the topic of his MBA thesis. "He spoke about chaos theory. He used to suggest that throwing people within an organisation into uncertainty was a good way of managing people," said one former Fidentia executive.The South African Venture Capitalists Association (SAVCA) 2005 yearbook records Linde as the main point of contact for a R250m fund managed by Fidentia Alternative Investments (Pty) Ltd.The transport Sector Education Training Authority's R250m is one of the funds at the centre of the curator's investigation into the whereabouts of millions of rands that have allegedly been misappropriated.Accountant Graham Maddock and Andrew Tucker are the other two names associated with this particular "fund".The SAVCA yearbook cites property, financial services and insurance as among the investment areas of interest.Sources confirm that Fidentia Alternative Investments was set up specifically to siphon money from Fidentia Asset Management for "private-equity" deals.Fidentia Alternative Investments was later renamed Bramber Alternative (Pty) in April 2006, says the FSB, which has also linked Bramber to the disappearance of millions of rands in the Living Hands trust for mineworkers' widows and orphans.Deep in the organisationAccording to an FSB report to the Cape High Court, Linde is a director of Bramber, an entity central to Fidentia's operations, as well as a director of Baloyi's SAWIH.Baloyi and Linde were in regular contact, with Linde agreeing to ensure that an admission of guilt fine in connection with VAT transgressions was paid before Baloyi had to appear in a Gauteng court last year.Moneyweb is reliably told that although a fine of about R2 000 was paid in connection with four VAT returns and payments, there are still "outstanding" tax issues.Baloyi was summonsed to appear in a Johannesburg court last year in her capacity as public officer of the Mantadia Asset Trust Company (Pty) Ltd, trading as Mantadia Projects 2 (Pty) Ltd. Mantadia is linked to a mineworkers' fund for widows and orphans, more commonly known as the Living Hands trust. It was renamed Living Hands and was the administration company of the Living Hands Trust.Linde's popularity is understood to have waned within Fidentia circles in recent months. However, he was clearly a valued member of the inner clique for some time.The Linde Schulz family trust owns 6,5% of Brown Brothers - of which the J Arthur W Brown family trust owns 35%. In addition, Brown Brothers owns 75% of Fidentia Holdings, while SAWIH owns 10% of Fidentia Holdings.After the Louis Koen family trust and the Jukelyn trust, the Linde Schulz family trust is the largest shareholder in Brown Brothers.Bramber, in turn, is owned by Fidentia Holdings and Fidentia Asset Management, while Fidentia Asset Management is owned by Fidentia Holdings.Bramber, according to the FSB, owned and controlled Living Hands.Fidentia Asset Management, says the FSB, circumvented its licence limitations by inserting in its mandate "the investment in a specific private-equity company, Bramber".The FSB investigators also found that client money "has been invested in Bramber and in certain cases advanced to Fidentia Holdings in order to acquire shares in various private companies".Regardless of what Linde may have been up to in recent months at Fidentia, the FSB report to the Cape High Court paints a picture of shocking corporate governance transgressions, at least, on his watch.No doubt the Fidentia and Bramber's curators will be delving more into Linde and Schulz' personal financial details as they search for assets to repay investors.

NOTE* Baloyi has repeatedly refused to comment to Moneyweb, saying she will wait for the curator's report to the High Court.

[ends]

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Barney: I love you, you love me?


Barney the Macaw

A macaw with a remarkably coherent line in invective has been given a private pen at a wildlife sanctuary, after swearing repeatedly at distinguished visitors including a mayor, a vicar and two police officers.
Barney is a five-year-old Macaw, who can now only be seen on special request, like the British Library's collection of erotic books, in case he lets loose on potential donors or visiting children.
Trained by a previous owner (who had a dislike of authority), Barney first appeared to be a hit at the Warwickshire Animal Sanctuary, Nuneaton, due to his vivid blue and gold plumage and cute habit of saying "Thank you, Big Boy," when given a digestive biscuit treat.
But when Barney spotted a visiting mayor's chain of office and the vicar's dog collar on the the woman accompanying him, the mood changed abruptly.
Instead of a church blessing (Oh all ye fowls of the air, bless ye the Lord), Barney told the mayor: "Fuck off," before turning to the lady vicar and saying: "You can fuck off too."
The sanctuary's owner, Geoff Grewcock, said: "To their credit they didn't take offence and laughed it off - and luckily so did two policemen who were told: "And you can fuck off, you wankers."

More online at The Guardian's website

It appears Barney's also keen to give TEFL lessons to his buddies, two African Greys...

Geoff Grewcock, owner of the Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary in the UK said it sounds like a builder's yard, all that abuse flying around.
Barney has duly passed on his purple phrases to two African Greys – Sam and Charlie, both five years old, with whom he shares a cage in Grewcock's living room.
Grewcock says: "They just sit there swearing at each other now. I wouldn't mind, but we had been careful of what we said in front of the other birds so they didn't go like Barney. I didn't think they would pick it up from him. We have another African Grey called Sunny who squawks 'Shut up' at them when the swearing starts - but they don't take any notice."

More online at funnystuff.net

Forum for Black Journalists was out of line

South African Human Rights Commission
says Forum for Black Journalists was out of line


After the inaugural meeting of the Forum for Black Journalists (FBJ) addressed by ANC president Jacob Zuma - from which non-black journalists were barred - there has been a major public uproar.
As a result, debates have sparked as to whether South Africa's new democracy is in need of exclusive forums such as these.
Tasked with the preservation and protection of human rights, the South African Human Rights Commission (SA HRC) engaged the issue and, of late, ruled that the barring of white journalists from joining the FBJ is unconsttutional.
Story on IOL

==Comment==
I think it's interesting that such a PC subject has set off such a bonfire of emotions. If the tables were turned, what would my colleagues of colour say? The fact that so many people died and suffered to allow all South Africans to have their cake and eat it means that for now, I agree with the HRC's ruling.

"Kill the bastards" – minister tells police

"Kill the bastards"

"You must kill the bastards if they threaten you or the community. You must not worry about the regulations. That is my responsibility. Your responsibility is to serve and protect"
These were the fiery words of Deputy Safety and Security Minister Susan Shabangu at an anti-crime imbizo in Pretoria West on Wednesday 9 April.
Shabangu, who received a standing ovation, was responding to questions on what police and the government were doing to curb crime.
==
"I won't tolerate any pathetic excuses for you not being able to deal with crime. You have been given guns, now use them.
"I want no warning shots. You have one shot and it must be a kill shot. If you miss, the criminals will go for the kill. They don't miss. We can't take this chance.
==
"The [South African] constitution says criminals must be kept safe, but I say No!
"I say we must protect the law-abiding people and not the criminals. I say that criminals must be made to pay for their crimes," she said.

As reported on IOL

Wow! I'm not sure what to say but I think I and a whole pile of other citizens would have stood up and applauded too. This woman's got brass ones...

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

FBI nets Fidentia Big Fish


In the same way that Google's keyword search allows news junkies to receive regular updates, i have trained my personal Babel Fish to scan the airwaves and internet for one key word:

fidentia

Ahem... That exact colour should be Burnt Umber, the internationally protected corporate pantone for Fidentia Holdings. Anyhow, listening to 05h30 radio news updates this morning I learned that

One of the alleged masterminds in the Fidentia scandal was arrested by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in the US, the South African National Prosecuting Authority (NPA) said on Tuesday 8 April.
Spokesperson Tlali Tlali said Steven (William) Goodwin was arrested following a request by the Directorate of Special Operations (Scorpions).
According to the NPA Goodwin was detained on Saturday at Los Angeles airport by US authorities and the Customs and Immigration Department.
"Their intervention followed an alert issued by Interpol that Goodwin was en route to the USA and that a warrant for his arrest had been issued in SA in July 2007.
"Goodwin left SA for Australia in early February 2007, following the appointment of a curator to manage the Fidentia group of companies and before the Scorpions investigation was authorised in February 2007," said Tlali.
Fidentia boss J Arthur W Brown will go on trial in September on fraud and theft charges.

Full story SABC, Business day and Moneyweb

Friday, April 04, 2008

Lest we forget

Dear Ebagum
Some things seem just too painful to forget.
According to cuurent talk, when former SA President Nelson Mandela
discussed freedom with fellow comrades, he said something along the lines of:
You will never be truly free until you have made the decision to forgive. With forgiveness comes true freedom.

My real problem is this:
How does a thinking, feeling human being
ever begin to forgive Gukurahundi?


Oh the simple joys of well-drawn artwork...

Dear Ebagum
I found these images online and couldn't help thinking of Rumbabwe...
You are such a jolly clever fellow old chap.
Your teachers must be triffically proud of you what!
And such a fine upstanding Jerry-Hat-Trick you have become.


Mr Ebagum of Rumbabwe

Dear Mr Ebagum of Rumbabwe

It is now bleedingly obvious you are a silly little finger-wagging man. You are a despotic Tiny Tin Teapot dicatator. You are a "balance". In other weds the world considers you to be stark raving krez.

I laughed out loud yesterday morning when a 702/Capetalk news presenter very cunningly used the sentence. As Mr Mugabe faces his woorst challenge in 28 years of one man rule, it appears he is trying to exit leadership "with Grace and Dignity". For those uninformed consumers of new media, Mrs Mugabe's first name is Grace. It has not yet been established if he has any offspring, legitimate of weekend-specials called Dignity.
yet true to for Uncle Bob issued orders for fully-clothed riot police to crack down on hotels and guest houses for the sole purpose of arresting journalists who are in country without official gov-enne-ment permission.

[starts]

New York Times: "New Signs of Mugabe Crackdown in Zimbabwe"
By MICHAEL WINES
Published: April 4, 2008

Police officers patrolled Thursday in Harare, which has been tense since before elections on Saturday. Results of the presidential race have not been released.

With the government facing election results that threaten its 28-year reign, security officers raided the Miekles [sic; it's spelt Meikles] Hotel in central Harare on Thursday afternoon, searching rooms that the main opposition party, the Movement for Democratic Change, had rented for election operations, said Tendai Biti, the party’s general secretary.

About the same time, a second group of riot officers sealed off the York Lodge, a small hotel in suburban Harare that is frequented by foreign journalists. A lodge worker who refused to be identified for safety reasons said six people were detained, including Barry Bearak, a correspondent for The New York Times who was later located in a Harare jail. The identities of the others were not clear.

[ends]

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Kwirikwiri

In an entry posted 23 June 2007,
an entry on the catchy South African phrase "Kwirikwiri" reads
(courtesy of Babelfish):

Kwirikwiri

Bienvenu a Kwirikwiri
Welcome to Kwirikwiri

L'origine du mo provient de l'appelation que les sud africain utilise pour parler des etranger.
The origin of the phrase comes from the appelation used by South Africans to talk about foreigners.

Je veux que ce blog soit un platform pout tout les gens qui sont en migration de s'exprimer sur les problemes qui les affectent.
I want this blog to be a platform for all emigrants to speak out about the problems affecting them.

Toutes les langues sont permises.
All languages are allowed.

Permalink:
http://kwirikwiri.lalibreblogs.be/archive/2007/06/23/kwirikwiri.html

UPDATE
2 April 2008 @ 04h45
Just heard a Security Officer on 702 Talk Radio refer to Zimbabweans as Pseudo-Zulus or Fong Kong Zulus. Well... at least they are Jen-U-Whine amaKwirikwiri.

Kwirikwiri II

So officially I am a Kwirikwiri.
This is to say I was born in another country
(Uncle Bob's Northern Limpopo Paradise).

I meet fellow amaKwirikwiri every day.

Hawkers on Greenmarket Square.
Professionals in lofty corporate positions

and places of higher (l)earning.
Radio annoucers on national radio.
Presenters on local TV.
Financial consultants.
Tsotsis roving the Cape Town train platform.
Purveyors of traditional medicine.
Hoarders of Malawi Gold and Swazi Special.
Billionaires in their homeland (US$1 = Z$100 000).
Carvers of soapstone mother and child, mvuu and nzou.
Bad people.
Good people.

Thabo Mbeki once (in)famously announced:
I am an African.
Here here.
But reaching deeper than that:
I am a Kwirikwiri.
And farking proud of it.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

A tribute to April Fools

Once upon a time there was a small financial services company called Fidentia. The FSB (SA Financial Services Board not the former KGB) were alerted to certain irregularities and the company was placed under high-court approved curatorship. The team of curators (ahem corporate skellums) includes alleged Chief Sacred Cow Dines Gihwala and Labour Law Sidekick Gavin Stansfield. The problem is. A sh1tload of money was stolen from widows and orphans through the Living Hands Trust (aka the Thieving Hands Trust ). So technicaly there was no money left to pay 600 (odd) retrenched/fired Fidentia employees. No salaries, pensions, payouts. But how the freaking hell are these Fat Cat Curators (FCCs) going to be paid? It's estimated the curators of a Fidentia-embroiled company called Ovation are billing at ZAR15 000 per day. See Op-Ed on this issue.

Forget about pulling wool over our eyes. These FCCs, like the Boys from Hofmeyr, have rammed the SA taxpayer's head inside an entire sheep.


The Usual Suspects (alleged)
Dines Gihwala (Chairperson of Hofmeyr Herbstein & Gihwala Inc)

Dines (left) is involved with various law councils. He has also sustained his membership of the Hindu Cultural Society and NADEL, both of which he has served in an executive capacity. Dines is a member of the Free State University Council and serves on the board of several companies both public and private. Dines is married to Shanti and they have three children.





Gavin Stansfield (Director of Hofmeyr Herbstein & Gihwala Inc)
Gavin (left) has been involved in a number of high profile strike matters acting on behalf of corporate clients. He regularly appears in the CCMA, Labour Courts and private arbitration forums. Gavin was appointed as a Director of Hofmeyr in 2006 and practises in the firm’s Cape Town office. In his spare time, he enjoys making the most of Cape Town by playing golf, cycling, hiking and kite-boarding.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Meester Baas Drivah...

So a funny thing happened on the way home from work.
Monday 31 March.Waited for Bus Number 3174 at 16h40 in Cape Town CBD to get home to Edgemead.
Damned bus finally arrived 20 minutes late at 17h00 when the driver proudly announced : "There is no cash box on board so only ticket-holders are allowed on."

One young man insisted on travelling, he had no other way home. I offered to use my ticket to let him on. No go! Apparently that's not allowed. So the ever polite and hellepfull driver threw him off. At the next stop, two mature ladies were told to get off because they only had cash. Ye gods!

At the next stop, a line of about 10 cash-paying fares were ALL turned away.
I called Golden Arrow using the company's website contact details.
Yes, I was listened to and told this experience is not the bus service's policy.
Mmm... let's wait and see.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Three contenders + one asshole = Zim Power



Top image above: A "1oo 000 Bob Note" from an advert in Die Burger newspaper. Above: A classic Zapiro cartoon dated January 1999

Today is the day before the next Zimbabwean presidential elections.

Three contenders. One asshole.
His Excellency Robot Gabri-Hell Moo-Guppie (Zanu PF)
Morgan Tsvangerai (Movement for Democratic Change)
Simba Makoni (former Finance Mini-Sister)

I have a work colleague who constantly teases me about my Zimbabwean roots.

He laughs out loud and greets me daily with the slogan "Howzit Zim-Power".

As the election deadline looms, I've changed my nick to "Sim-Power" in honour of the Lion-Man, Simba Makoni.

Maybe it's better to let Moo-Guppie swindle another election.

Apparently he's hired a crack team of Israeli IT specialists to help him pack fudge (yes the fag innuendo is intended). But if he has a landslide victory, then maybe an avalanche similar to Kenya's latest woes might start. Give a blind, fool enough rope and Moo-Guppie might just hang himself. Like so many disenfranchised Zimbo's watching from the sidelines. I hope 2008 is a memorable year in the life of a new Zimbabwe. I hope and pray but I can't figure out what my gut is whispering to me.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Tonight I can write

"Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche"
By Pablo Neruda
From Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.

Escribir, por ejemplo: "La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos."

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.

En las noches como esta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.

Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.

Oir la noche inmensa, más inmensa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.

Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guardarla.
La noche esta estrellada y ella no está conmigo.

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.

De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como esta la tuve entre mis brazos,
mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Aunque este sea el ultimo dolor que ella me causa,
y estos sean los ultimos versos que yo le escribo.

==
"Tonight I Can Write"
By Pablo Neruda
From Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, "The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance."

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

[ends]

Monday, March 17, 2008

Thoughts on Love in a Time of Cholera

Love in a Time of Cholera raises the question:
Why is Florentino such a successful lover?

At some point towards the end of the film, Florentino is asked by another man, how he has come to be so successful in attracting the attentions of conquests. He remarks that he has just logged Conquest No 622 (as I recall) in his LBB (little black book).

He also says something to the effect that women are drawn irresistibly to him because of the deep dark hole his unrequited love for Fermina has left inside him.

I find this a profound insight, at least one cause for so many affairs, break-ups, (ONS) one-night-stands, swinging encounters, whatever...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Do some movies push your cry button?

Saw two awesome movies at the weekend and one okay-ish.
My offspring was on camp and my babe & I got to get out alone!
Watched Love in a Time of Cholera (OMG), Atonement (mmm) and Man on Fire (OMG). The Garcia Marquez movie made me cry bitterly for most of the night... Eish so much pain from the past raked up by that movie Love in a Time of Cholera set in Colombia.

The other Man on Fire is hectic but awesome, set in Mexico City with Denzel Washington in lead and co-starring Dakota Fanning.

It is the morning after I watched the film as I write these words. Since then, while my woman sleeps and my child's bed lies empty (she's away), nobody but my three cats are witness to the constant stream of bitter tears flowing from me. All I need to know is that somebody who knew me and saw me, as we were in 1991, almost 20 years ago, acknowledges that what we had was real.

Do you believe me when I say that I, as a clumsy but passionate young man, made love to a breathtaking young woman and meant everything when I said I wanted to be making love to her alone for the rest of both our lives?

Nobody bothered to ever tell me what happened to the woman I loved. Is she happy? Is she okay? Does she remember anything of a young, naïve man – full of hope and passion – who loved her and made love to her with an energy that felt like it was inspired by God.

Is she alive? Is she dead? Does she have any idea what burning fire she ignited in the heart and mind of a stupid, clumsy and inept young man?

As Pablo Neruda says in "Tonight I can write the saddest lines"

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

mudthang: a profile

PROFILE

WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
A missionary or a doctor or both.

WHAT SOOTHES YOU?
A 100% hands-on massage.

WHAT IRKS YOU?
Mugabe.

IS THERE A BOOK YOU READ THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE?
Maybe...
The Unbearable Lightness of Being: Milan Kundero.
Oranges are not the Only Fruit: Jeanette Winterson.
A Prayer for Owen Meany: John Irving.
The Psalms in The Message: A Jewish guy called David, translated by Eugene Petersen

THE MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO MOST OFTEN?
Live jazz impro.

WHO WOULD YOU GO TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR?
The woman I made my children with.
He who must be named.

WHO IS YOUR GREATEST SOURCE OF INSPIRATION?
The G-Man.
The woman I made my children with.
My father.

DO YOU HAVE ANY 'SHOW OFF' COFFEE TABLE BOOKS IN YOUR HOME?
Nope. Always open to being surprised by a new OMG Wow! moment.

EVER BEEN LEFT SPEECHLESS?
Yes, when the breathtaking woman I was making love to said:
"Don't stop. I can't breathe."

WHO IS THE ONE PERSON YOU WOULD LOVE TO INTERVIEW,
BUT HAVEN'T YET HAD THE PLEASURE?

My father.
PS: Myself.

[ends]